The bug in my brain

A bug has made home in your brain. How do you stop it from taking over your life?

I've discovered a bug in my brain. She's not what you'd call a household pet. She's an enormous pest you can't get rid of.

She hatched when I was a child, spread her wings a little wider every time I was bullied. Over time, she festered, took over my thoughts. She feeds off my trauma, my failures, and the embarrassing flashbacks that make me question my existence.

Lately, she has created a new monster out of someone I loved. She's fashioned each part of him with one agonizing memory after another. Her carefully crafted web of denial, deception, and dread makes me question reality. It makes me wonder, are all the monsters in my head real? Or, is the fact of the matter not black and white, but grey?

I find myself doubting every action I take; withdrawing from every decision I have to make. The words that come out of my mouth are gibberish. I no longer recognize the body in the mirror. Now, I am afraid to take another step. What if I'm not enough for what the future holds for me?

On some days, I am paralyzed by the monster. I am nothing but a shell for the bug in my brain. On most days, I am convinced that I am one of the monsters I create.